Rebecca is a private secretary in an
international corporation. Her boss, Mr. Lu, is the president in charge of the
company’s branch of Greater China region. Everything went quite normal between
them until the night of April 7th. On that day, Mr. Lu found he had
left something important in the office, so he headed back for it. However, when
he reached the office’s door, he suddenly realized that his key was not with
him and he might have left it in the office. The only thing he could do was
asking his secretary for help, which seemed a good solution but later it turned
out to be the opposite. It was several hours after Rebecca got off work when
Mr. Lu tried to call her for help. Unfortunately, after hundreds of phone calls
he still could not get through. Then, several hours passed and all the ways he
tried failed. Finally at 1:13 AM, Mr. Lu became so angry that he sent a
strongly worded and blunt toned mail through the company’s internal e-mail
system to Rebecca, which was also carbon copied to some of the executives. The
next morning, when Rebecca received and read the mail, she did not choose to
compromise but reply by an even more aggressive mail to her boss. Moreover, she
even added all the staff on the cc list of her mail so almost everyone received
that and word got spread so quickly that it eventually became a hot issue in
the internet.
To this issue, some people said that she
was doing the wrong thing because she would definitely lose her high-salary job.
Others thought Rebecca was so brave to protect her own rights and they even
called her “The Bravest Female Secretary”.
However, for this issue, my point of view
is that both of them did not do the right thing in the right way. They did not
know how to suppress anger and more importantly they did not know how to
resolve the interpersonal conflict at all because I think calming down is very
first step to resolve these kind problems. And another thing they failed to do
was to stand in each other’s shoes, which is also important but they did not
realize this. So, how to solve this problem if you were Rebecca? If I were her,
I would just avoid the confrontation with Mr. Lu and wait until he calmed down.
It may not be my fault, but to be tolerant and kind is a sign of being broad-minded
instead of cowardly. And last but not least, as a secretary, she was required
to be patient in all situations, losing which will make herself into trouble.
So,
what would you do if you were Rebecca, or Mr. Lu?
Hi Yang Mo, I think that your example is a commonly experienced one in the working world. Very often, bosses tend to mistreat their subordinates even if they didn’t mean it personally. I agree with you that both Mr. Lu and Rebecca have approached the problem inappropriately.
ReplyDeleteAt first, Mr. Lu should have taken time off to cool down. He has to be able to see things from her perspective before jumping to conclusions. Perhaps he could have considered the fact that she may have had some important family issue to tend to and thus could not be contacted via phone. Also, the fact that working hours are already over means that Rebecca is right to be out of the office and enjoying her free time. He should also consider the fact that asking Rebecca to come down to pass him the key during after-office hours is an unreasonable request. On the whole, he should be more aware of his own emotions. In this case, realizing that he is angry would be a good first step. Acknowledging this would mean that he knows that he isn’t in the right frame of mind to be taking action. To avoid such situations in the future maybe he could implement a new rule where all employees should be contactable up till 10pm? Such is the case with many companies these days which arm their employees with blackberries etc.
This isn’t to say that Rebecca is free of fault either. Perhaps she should have considered the fact that Mr. Lu may have accidently carbon copied the email to others within the company. I think she too should have practiced some self-awareness and self-regulation. She should have controlled herself from replying the email rudely. Instead, she could have approached Mr. Lu personally to explain why she wasn’t answering her phone. If it was a good reason, I’m sure Mr. Lu would have been understanding and given some leeway.
Hi YangMo.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that calming down is the first step we should adapt when we feel angry. If I am Mr.Lu, I would have called a locksmith, instead of given Rebecca hundreds of calls and then sat down and written an Email, if the thing was really that important. He did not do so. That is why I assume this case may not be a simple interpersonal conflict.
He wrote the letter in English and sent it to not only her, but also other executives. In this case, I think Mr.Lu was trying to embarrass Rebecca purposely. If it is so, then the thing he did was immature and inappropriate. If I am Rebecca, I would do a similar thing. It went beyond interpersonal level. It is about defending yourself when someone accuses you in public.
However, I do not totally agree with Rebecca’s response as well. Certainly Mr.Lu had done something wrong (purposely or accidently), but that does not mean that she should reply in the same way. In fact, she brought the whole thing to a new high level. In this case what she did was as bad as what her boss did. She was embarrassing her boss because she was well backed-up. That was not correct as well. No one should humiliate any others. I think that made her equally responsible for this conflict.
If I am Mr.Lu, I will send a letter to everyone in EMC china to apologize to Rebecca immediately. This may turn the mess into positive.
If I am Rebecca, I will explain/confront him in person first. As you mentioned, communication is the key to solve any problem. Notice in your story, they did not really try to communicate. They started fire at each without any warning. That is the worst situation possible. Nothing was solved at the end.
*(change grammar mistakes, sorry, have to follow 7Cs)
ReplyDeleteI Notice that they did not really try to communicate,not even once. They started fire at eachother without any warning. That is the worst situation possible. Nothing was solved at the end.
remainds us that the importance of communication.
Good story!cheers!